This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
