I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize