She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
