She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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