The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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