everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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