i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
