I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm like, not good at living.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
