wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
