Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
