I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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