what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize