My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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