I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can't put those talents on a resume
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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