lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize