Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
