I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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