I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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