she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
