Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
