Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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