i think my mom watched the whole time
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Are we still banned from the library?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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