The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
