What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize