I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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