the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have already put on my inside pants.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
