We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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