Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
