You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
