i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
