this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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