kristin has been a bad kristin
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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