I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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