She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize