I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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