I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
