I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
