Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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