We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
