I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
