Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
