dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
