if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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