Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize