Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
