come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
