RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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