4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize