If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
