@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
