woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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