sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
