I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
