It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
