went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
