I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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