You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
